Retail myths -- How to find a tolerable retail job -- Getting hired -- Training -- Your coworkers -- The customers -- The products -- The stockroom -- Break time -- Etiquette: How not to be the one everybody hates -- Sales -- Management -- The corporate office -- Loss prevention -- The mall -- Christmas -- G.O.B. (going out of business)

Ah, retail. It has lured in the best of us with promises of employee discounts (a sham), the "fun" of working with people (not so much), and flexible hours (don't make me laugh). What we got instead: cranky customers, sadistic managers, idiotic coworkers, and, oh yeah, the hell that is doing inventory. But there are ways to lessen the pain, and this retail handbook will show you how. Inside you'll learn how to handle the crazies (both customers and coworkers), feign product knowledge, and make the best of working the register, all the while, of course, pretending you care. This book takes years of retail experience and condenses it into a guide that is as funny as it is useful. If you work in retail now, have done so in the past, or plan to do so in the future: this is the book for you

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